Drama Follows Them

Ummmm... so I am beginning to think that I have a sick, weird, twisted sense of humor when it comes to this show! I can not help it... but for some reason I laugh at the most inappropriate awkward moments! And I am not talking about just a chuckle... I am talking about sitting on the couch by myself laughing until I almost have tears running down my face then let out a HUGE sigh at the end to catch my breath!  By the end of the episode I was a little bit scared of myself... cause I know it is totally not normal... nor did ANYONE laugh as hard as I did... but it is what it is! here were my LOL moments....

1) douchebag doug getting turned down cause lauren had to go to work instead of "going to do something" oy!

2) the quote about the blondes verses the brunettes. i don't think even audrina knew how to respond to that it was so dumb!!!

3) heidi trying to give her reason as to why she wanted to go to she pratt's birthday party without actually saying "hey fuck face... she is the only person left in LA besides your sorry ass that wants to have anything to do with me... so i would kind of like a night out of the apartment!" yes... i dropped the f'bomb... its a first in my 12 months of posting... but omg... sometimes you have to call it like you see it!

4) rock. hard place. insert LC! getting ready for a hot night out on the town is stressful enough... but when your two best friends hate each other and are shooting the worst go to hell looks ever it is so TOTALLY awkward... probably the most awkward of the night... and I couldn't stop laughing! something is wrong with me!!!!!!!!

5) the dinner... oh the dinner! The look on Whitney's face was as if she had just seen Kelly ACTUALLY bitch slap Jessica from the LA store to the NYC store. It was priceless! Poor thing... I heart Whitney so much and she had to have been so uncomfortable in that moment. again... i choose to laugh!

6)"can't we all just get along" "we are all just getting along" "well we're not ALL getting along" "well those of us that matter are getting along".... silence because I am trying to catch my breath.

7) "you look pretty... i'm glad we chatted" audrina sits in total amusement and astonishment. my friend caroline says she is proud of audrina for not responding... i just think the music was too loud and she was in shock that someone called her pretty with her clothes on. harsh... but reality bites.

8) balloons? seriously? balloons? and a tiny chocolate cake to boot... i mean i know you are having issues with your sister and all... but balloons? seriously?

9) this is the BEST birthday ever!!! duuuuuuuuude don't jinx it!!!! next thing ya know you're sittin' all by your lonesome on an oversized couch in an overpriced club with nobody there to buy you a birthday shot... cause the fuck face to your left and his blow up doll brought you balloons and a chocolate cake and they are dunzo for the night!

10) if spencer and stephanie weren't brother and sister then WE would all be so sad cause we would not get awesome reactions like this "as long as you are rolling with that posse then i don't want to have anything to do with you. and that is straight up"

11) clean up aisle 5... clean up on aisle 5.  i thought Whitney was going to hurl all over Kelly when she said she probably shouldn't make plans for the next few months!

12) last but not least... does ANYONE believe the bs that she pratt was shoveling down LC's throat about not knowing that the terrible twosome was going to be there??? it literally made me laugh out loud!!!

ok... so you got at two for one special tonight and i am whipped. probably lots of typos... but i am too drained to even check... just read around them and use your own colorful thoughts if mine don't make any sense. but i will leave you on one final note... has anyone noticed that the commercial time is getting longer as are the "shots around town." true we get to hear lots of great music that way... but i swear there was hardly any "plot time" tonight! we'll compare next week... until then...

xoxo

LO 101

Ok. Before I start on last night's episode I feel as if I should address the BACKLASH that I received in stating that I am a LO fan. Yes it is true... I might eat my words later on, but for right now I will defend her until the end! Yes, I know that on occasion she has been a little bit of a nasty mean bitch that only Heidi could rival... but I do, I love her. And in case you need a refresher course... or if you are joining this program that is already in progress... here are the reasons that I do HEART Lo!!!

1) just a few of her memorable quotes from Laguna AND the hills... 

a) her response after LC states that she doesn't want to marry steeeeephen.... "why? he's cute. you'd have pretty babies."

b) you whorebag!

c) ohhhhh... those aren't cigarette poofs!

d) mocking kristen... "ste-phan"

e) morgan has the same dress on as me... she's a whore!

f) oh... he should probably be your boyfriend by now!

g) lauren... i think justin bobby is mad at us!

           these are just to name a FEW!!!

2) she ALWAYS has LC's back! and i must say... she tells LC when a bad egg is around. she didn't like kristen, she didn't like jen bunney, she didn't like heidi, she doesn't like she pratt and they have ALL screwed her in some form or fashion... i'm just saying... maybe she has to be there to weed out the bad one's for LC!

3) she is on TEAM BRODY!

4) she made out with Frankie!!! She took a little time out of setting up the BFF to enjoy Vegas on her own! Love it! Respect it!

5)the greatest words that have EVER plummeted out of LC's mouth came because of LO.... "i just saw lo's britney!!!!" may be Klassy with a K.... but classy no less!!!

6) HELLOOOOOOOOOOO she alone is responsible for coining the name "justin bobby"... and come on... where would we all be without being able to say the name justin bobby!!!! it brings a smile to my face every time i say it!!!

So agree or disagree... i care not! i just want those of you who think i am HORRIBLE person for liking this girl to understand the reasons why i do... oh... and i totally know that i could NEVER be the bitch that she is so i live vicariously thru her!!!! 

DUNZO!

We'll Never Be Friends Again...

And we're back!!! Ladies and gents this was an awesome premiere! I had more than a few laugh out loud omg moments tonight! With the Olympics going on I feel as if we should support our teams... so here we go!

Team Spencer... yes I am starting with this one! I know I swore I would never support this guy... but come on... the moment you saw him and Holly sitting on the couch after HH was talking about how she had to rush home cause she hadn't told either of them that the other would be there was PRICELESS!!! I think Spencer had more than enough reasons to be a little miffed!!! 

Team Heidi... and just like that we remember the reasons why we hate this guy!! Holly made a breakfast "just for him" and he is a complete asshole!!! "Don't wake me up???" Dude slept til noon and then went right back to bed!! Heidi do not defend this guy with he's just grumpy!!

Team Audrina... it's HER birthday!! She is allowed to invite whomever she likes! Even if they have giant pink mohawks!! Bitchiest comment of the night goes to Lo "weelll... guess we just have to enjoy the company that comes" the look that LC shot her will go down as one of the greatest in Hills history!!

Team Lo... okay guys say what you will... i HEART Lo!!! She has been there since the Laguna days and whether or not she is a bitch now she as always added MUCH comic relief.  She went with good intentions to talk to Audrina and Audrina said flat out that she just doesn't care. Even after she told Audrina she wanted to be friends with her! Go get your own place Audrina!

Team Spencer... and we're back to him! OMG... I hate saying he EVER has the right to be pissed... but I have to side with him on the whole letting Holly stay with them. They are just back together!!! Having a sibling... who doesn't like you... stay with you for even a week is poison.

Team Brody... I know! I know! It is wishful thinking... but this Doug is a douche!! First... he ordered a Stella... come on. Stella?!?! That is a girl's beer. Sorry guys if you like it.... but it is. We call it the champagne of beer. Light weight. Second... what the HELL did he have on at the BBQ??? He did know that he was going to be around other people AND that he would be on television!!! 

Okay... that's it! I am so glad to be back!!! But even more excited that our drama filled friends are back!!!  The previews for the season look awesome and I am looking forward to my Monday ritual!!!

xoxo

A New Roommate

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?" FRAK THAT!!! How many awkward moments can the producers of this show fit into one episode? You tell me...

How fun is getting ready for a girls night?!?! Boys you don't know... but it is so fun. Planning what you are going to wear. Chatting about how fun the evening is going to be. Wondering who all will get wasted and hook up. And then everything comes to a screeching halt when someone makes a comment like this... "Maybe she'll bring Heidi!" I love Lo for so many reasons and this is one of them! The looks on both LC and Audrina's faces were priceless. And then there was the look on Lo's when she realized that it might not have been as funny to them as she thought it would be. She should know that she definitely got a major laugh out of those watching! Awkward scale - 5

Oooohhh how the tables can turn. Instead of Heidi's girl's night sinking into the oblivion like the Titanic this week it was LC's. She must have been in hell. Not only did she have to be crammed into a booth with Heidi and Justin Bobby... but she had to hear them talk about what a bitch she was being that night! T-terrible! I think I would have gone home too... or taken a few shots of Petron and told them how I felt about them. Awkward scale - 7

He speaks?!?! And he's sober enough to deliver the best line of the night??? He's "Liking the leather". This was actually the one scene in the entire episode that wasn't totally uncomfortable and awkward. And it involved Justin Bobby no less! Its amazing how far a conversation can go if its not one sided. Awkward Scale: 1... come on its The Hills, there is never a date without the awkward silence!

The walk of shame... sometimes it hurts. Especially when your BFF/roomie doesn't approve of who you took the walk for. Not that I am a Audrina/Justin Bobby supporter, but I really wish that Audrina would have been a bitch right back to LC and said "You stopped going back to Jason cause he got engaged!!!!" It is TOTALLY a Jason/LC situation. They both went back to the guys that hurt them after they got clean and sober... and they cut their hair. Awkward Scale: 8.

Whew!!! I thought for a moment there we weren't going to get to see Spencer on the couch!!!! I really don't think my system could have handled that. In what part of Heidi's teeny tiny delusional mind did she think it would be ok to stop by the Pratt condo without calling Stephanie first. My guess is that she did and totally knew that she wasn't there. And!!! I loved that Spencer called her out on her "she's my daughter, she's my sister" moment. Make up your mind... did you stop to see the he or she pratt? Even Spencer is tired of hearing about her melodrama with LC. She doesn't like you. Get over it. I would feel sorry for her if I didn't dislike her so much. Awkward scale: 4

Lo does it again! "Maybe she'll have Heidi AND Justin Bobby over" Honeeeey... if it wasn't funny to her the first time, it sure as hell isn't gonna be funny when you throw a second enemy in there. The whole lunch was totally uncomfortable! Audrina looked like she would rather have a root canal than move in with LC and Lo. Its going to be so awesome watching this!!! Awkward Scale: 9. There was never a comfortable moment at that table!

Although I wasn't totally impressed with this episode it did fill the half hour well. And if nothing else... Justin Bobby was back! Speaking of being back... OMG Steeeeeephhhaaaann!!! If you never watched Laguna I highly reccommend you Netflix the heck out of seasons 1 and 2. Until then...

xoxo

Girls Night Out

Oh the drama tonight was AWESOME! I love it when we get in a good Spencer/Heidi fight!!!!! So here we go. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of it all...

The Good: Ah... the girls night. A sacred tradition in which girls get together for food, fun and well to get d-runk! Boys will be boys, but girls... girls can be bad on a night like this.
The Bad: She Pratt told Spencer where they were going. She will no longer be included in girls night.
The Ugly: The moment Spencer walked in you knew it was going to get soooo ugly! The last thing the girls want is for their night to be busted up by an ex.

The Good: Heidi could win an academy award for that "i'm so mad" performance! ok... not really, but I actually thought for a minute she was really surprised that Spencer was there.
The Bad: Spencer's attempt to flirt with those girls. I'm with the skanky girls... be a man... shoot the tequila! Don't sip on the damn shot!
The Ugly: The look that the skanky girls gave Heidi as they walked by during Spencer and Heidi's fight. I thought the one girl's eyes were going to get stuck in the back of her head she rolled them so hard.

The Good: Audrina told LC that she met up with Heidi to have drinks. She's being honest and has nothing to hide.
The Bad: Audrina told LC that she met up with Heidi to have drinks. Girl should have just kept that info to herself!!!!
The Ugly: LC's ability to cut Audrina at the knees by saying the only reason Heidi wants to be friends with her is to get back at Lauren. Ouch.

The Good: LC got some real world work experience and it paid off.
The Bad: The realization that she now has a real job. Welcome to the real world... well as real as its gonna get for you.
The Ugly: Jessica is sooooo getting fired and she knows it!

The Good: Best line of the night goes to... as much as I hate it... Spencer. "In the real world a "relationship vacation" is a break up!" finally some common sense in this relationship!
The Bad: Spencer's attempt to defend his "saying hello" to the skanky girls.
The Ugly: Heidi's fake white nails. She wouldn't be able to get thru airport security with those weapons. Geez.

I already know what my favorite moment for next week's episode is going to be, but I won't share... until then.

xoxo

Just Be Careful...

So while I do love getting to see two episodes each week... the whole having to post twice in one day kind of takes a toll on my brain. This one is going to be short, sweet and to the point. Here were my favorite moments of the episode.

1) LC's still in the closet! How sad did she look in that intern closet all by herself. She must be bored out of her freaking mind!! Does she not get a new buddy to play with? At least let her bring in her puppy or something. Gaw!!!

2) Audrina being left on the couch all by herself to handle Heidi! Haha. How awkward was that moment! Literally all her friends got up and left her. And yes, I realize it was probably staged cause they wanted to get the convo on tape, but it just looked so funny. Audrina just does not handle pressure well!

3) Whitney needs to watch what she eats and drinks at work from now on... never know when Jessica might slip her something. I am so very proud that Kelly likes Whitney and her ideas, but OMG I thought Jessica was going to have her head at the meeting. Upstaging your boss is a good way to have the job from hell!!!!

4) Oh oh oh!!! The she pratt just couldn't wait to stir that pot the day after seeing Audrina. I wonder if she got any sleep that night at all or if she stayed up just thinking about how she was going to approach LC?!?! Trouble... maker!!

5) Audrina needs to learn to take up for herself! Twice she let LC walk all over her. If I had been the one sitting on that couch with LC I would have lost it! What makes LC being friends with the she pratt any different than Heidi being friends with Audrina. And... the only reason she wants to be friends with her is to get back at LC??? Oh I would have been like "please don't flatter yourself honey." And Heidi stayed in the apartment for like 2.5 seconds. Sorry for the tangent, but I think LC could have been a little more gracious.

6) No Spencer! I could be having a totally next morning relapse, but I don't think he was in the second episode at all!!

Ok. So there you go. All in all tonight was pretty great!! Can't wait til next week when Heidi catches Spencer and his many women. Until then...

xoxo

When Spencer Finds Out

Hope everyone had a good weekend! I was a naughty girl skipped church, so what better way to make myself feel better than to pick out the flaws of our favorite misfits!!! I know... I know I am so bad! Here you go... a special "Hills Twist" to The 7 Deadly Sins!


Lust- While there was no excessive show of lust tonight, relationships were definitely on the brain. Spencer apparently has girls falling all over him, but obviously he has changed since his days of trying to date Heidi and Audria at the same time and is a one woman man now... problem is he needs to know if he actually has a woman. Lo and Frankie must have a little more going on than their infamous hookup in Vegas than we know about... problem is lo didn't know he has a girlfriend. LC and Brody are finally able to hang out like normal friends and talk about their love lives... problem is they are still totally into each other.

Gluttony- Ever notice when people get lots of alcohol in them they tend to say the same things over and over? The she pratt had to justify her being there by repeatedly telling LC that it was all "water under the bridge" and LC kept having to tell the she pratt that she was such a good person. If either of them kept it up much longer it would have all seemed a little insincere and staged. oh wait that was totally how it seemed! Lo and Audrina have the right idea by not trusting the she pratt any further than they could throw her. Audrina gets one of the moments of the night when she threw a fake smile across her face and told lo to "smile". whew, that was a close one... almost got busted. Party on!

Greed- It doesn't really show in this episode, but I kind of think that LC is greedy when it comes to her friends. I don't think she likes to share. Should be interesting to see when she, Audrina, and Lo move in together.

Sloth- Guess who I am giving the award for the biggest sloth to... anyone? anyone?... if you guessed Spencer then give yourself a cookie. Seriously people the boy has got to get out of that apartment!! If i were the she pratt I would have slapped the s*^t out of him by now! I actually thought that she was going to when he told her that the maid needed to wash his sheets! omg! Jaw to the floor. I know by now I should never ever be shocked by the things that come out of Spencer's mouth... but damn gina!!! The she pratt was actually a better person than I would ever have been if he had told me to get out of my own living room. He needed to watch 24, seriously? Dude get a life... get a job... get some friends!!!!

Wrath- Now I know there is the age old saying that there is nothing like a woman's scorn, but Spencer being mad at me is something that I would never ever want hanging over my head. The title of the episode is "When Spencer Finds Out" that right there shows that nothing good can come from the she pratt and LC's friendship. There is a reason why Heidi told him over the phone. She was probably scarred that he would "shoot the messenger" if she told him in person. We all know what Spencer is capable of when somebody pisses him off. I don't care if you are his sister.

Envy- ohhh Heidi's favorite color these days must be green!!! She can roll her eyes all she wants when the she pratt asks her if she still wants to be friends, but she is dying that LC can be friends with the she pratt and not her. And it kills her that the she pratt wants to be friends with someone who doesn't like her. I love how she warns the she pratt that one day she will be your best friend and then the next day its over. Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't Heidi drop all of her friends and completely lost her social life when she chose Spencer over all of them??? And didn't she stand behind Spencer when he started all the drama??? Oh... btw... body language is a killer, Heidi totally gave herself away when the she pratt called her out on that one.

Pride- OMG! I have never ever seen a more prideful group of 22 year olds in my life. Let it go people! You don't like each other. Done. Don't say that you don't care... that it doesn't bother you anymore when it OBVIOUSLY does! No more of this "they did this to me" "she started it" bulls*^t! We get it! Move on! Oh wait... what am i talking about... if the drama wasn't there we wouldn't be so addicted to this show! Continue on as usual!

Now go read your Bible... but stay tuned for the next episode!

xoxo